Official Synopsis:
Award-winning visionary Guillermo del Toro (Pan's Labyrinth, Hellboy) and acclaimed director J.A. Bayona present a "positively terrifying" (John Anderson, Newsday) new vision of the classic ghost story. Returning to her childhood home - a mysterious, seaside orphanage - Laura and her family unknowingly unleash a long-forgotten, evil spirit. Now thrust into a chilling nightmare, Laura must confront the memories of her past before the ghosts of the orphanage destroy her... and everything she has ever loved.

  
Our Take:
This is the movie I’ve heard so much about? This is the film that I’ve heard more than one critic proclaim as the scariest film in years? This is the one that’s got all the critics buzzing?

Wow. I must have really missed something here.

The Orphanage, executive produced by Guillermo del Toro, is the new Spanish-language horror film that’s earned some of the best reviews I’ve seen for a scary movie in a very long time. I mention del Toro right off the bat, because his name is plastered all over the marketing for this movie, even though he’s only the executive producer. It was actually directed by relative newcomer J.A. Bayona.

The problem with The Orphanage is that it really shouldn’t be labeled as a horror film; it’s a drama with some supernatural elements. Personally, I barely found it creepy, much less actually scary. There’s a lot of doors slamming shut for no reason, creepy bumping noises, and slow pans down long, empty hallways, but for the most part I just found the film slow instead of spooky. I have to give rave reviews to lead actress Belen Rueda, who not only turns in a stellar performance but is also in literally every scene of the movie. Roger Princep is also fantastic; he’s one of the few child actors who seems completely natural at all times. However, even terrific acting can’t save this overly long and dull movie.

The DVD comes with a number of extra features. Here’s what’s included:

* When Laura Grew Up: Constructing The Orphanage (17 minutes) – A solid making-of feature.
* Tomas' Secret Room: The Filmmakers (10 minutes) – More production-focused making-of featurettes.
* Horror in the Unknown: Makeup Effects (9 minutes) – Pretty much what it sounds like.
* Rehearsal Studio (4 minutes) – See the cast read through a scene.
* Marketing Campaign – Trailers, TV Spots, and some very cool conceptual poster art.

* Still Galleries.

I still can’t quite figure out exactly why everyone loves this film so much. It’s certainly not a bad movie, and there are some really emotional scenes to be found here, but I found myself looking at the clock more often than in a lot of films, wondering exactly how long was left. I still haven’t jumped aboard the Guillermo del Toro bandwagon, and The Orphanage hasn’t done much to get me to want to. That may not be fair since he didn’t actually direct the film, but since his name is the one that everyone insists on mentioning when talking about The Orphanage, he’ll have to share in part of the blame.

Overall Picture:
Movie: C-
DVD: B

- Mike Spring

Editor